Why we let ourselves be distracted ? Few minutes of your time to have "Peace"

How many of us feel with all technology available these days, we are working faster than before yet not have the fulfilment ?

Some disturbing facts about our time. During a working day, we visit and average of 40 different web sites. In the space of an hour we switch between different programs on our computer 36 times. We consume three times as much information as we did thirty years ago. We communicate more via the "cloud"- email, social networks and online forums than directly with people. And if we don't reply to a mail within a few hours or at least after a day, the sender gets angry - or forgets what they sent in the first place.

Every time we check our mail or familiar ring tone in our mobile, we get small dopamine injection in our brains. Over time, this turns into an addiction, which results in us wanting this distraction more and more. So, when we are bored or stuck, we check our email or surf on Facebook. But every time we interrupt ourselves, we have to refocus ourselves afterwards, which cost us time and energy.

Ofcourse, these technological achievements also increase our efficiency at work. But the point is, we have always equated computers with productivity. We don't work effectively with digital devices, we work faster. And more carelessly.

We used to watch TV, now we watch smart phone.

Few suggestions to avoid distraction overdose

1- Read and answer mails for an hour at the beginning and end of your working day
2- Have a no-email-Friday once a month
3- dont check your mail at all on saturday
4- Three times a year follow "3 day rule" (after 3 days without internet you begin to relax a bit. You might sleep more soundly. You might wait longer before answering a question. Perhaps you will listen more attentively)

You may share if this useful or something else works for you.

Who said happiness is to do with relaxation?

What makes us happy?

Over 2000 years back, Aristotle came to the unsurprising conclusion that what a person wants above all is to be happy. Another Psychologist wrote "while happiness itself is sought for its own sake, every other goal - health, beauty money or power - is valued only because we expect that it will make us happy". He described the state of being happy as "Flow". But when are we "in the flow"

After interviewing thousands of people, here are the five things common to happiness or flow, when we are

1- Intensely focussed on an activity 

2- of our own choosing that is

3- neighther over challenging ( burnout) not under challenging (bore out) that has

4- a clear objective , and that receives

5- immediate feedback

He observed people who are in the flow not only feel a profound sense of satisfaction, they also lose track of time and forget themselves completely because they are so immersed in what they are doing.

Musicians, doctors,athletes,doctors and artists describe how they are happiest when they are absorbed in an often exhausting activity.

Who said happiness has to do with relaxation? 

2 minute guide to Transform your Listening

We are listening only the moment we realize "we are not listening".
We think most of the times we listen to others.

Here  is a true test.

Next time you meet another person, try and reproduce verbatim what the other person is saying, i mean
verbatim, i  tried myself, i miss many words , i change expressions . Only then i realised
how deep is my listening.

While you try this out , you may consider reproducing the emotions too. This will take your
listening to the next level.

As we master listening, we will be fully present to people in our life. When we are fully
present in any situation, we will be alive. When we are alive, we will have energy and
people in our lives would love to be with us. There will be peace.

Listening is a clear access to a great life.

No wonder natural design is two ears and one mouth !!

Please share your experience in listening and lets contribute together to  a "World of Listening".

Did you ever feel bad with feedbacks ? Here are simple tips

Daily we get feedbacks good or bad from groups we operate. They are sensitive and at times
they can impact our self esteem and make us to unwise choices.

Here is a way to distinguish feedbacks and not seem them in the traditional two dimensional way "good" or "bad".

There are two dimensions to feedback "I" and "Others". You may categorise the feedbacks
in 4 forms.

I thought it is good , others too found its good = "compliment"

I thought its good, others found scope to improve/ change = "Advice"

I thought it is bad and others found scope to improve/change" = "criticism"

I thought it is bad and others found scope to improve/change = "Suggestion"

Once you are clear on the feedback, you may choose to ask these questions and take action.

What advice do you want to follow?

What criticisms prompt you to take action?

Which suggestions can you ignore?

This may provide you a platform for clear plan of action. You may also ask these questions
honestly to yourself

Which success or failure was purely due to luck?
Were you the winner of the match because the ball found its way to the net by chance?
do you really deserve this compliment?

Dilemma - If you are in a Dilemma in any part of your life, Check this out

                       What is pulling you  ?                                                What is holding back ?                                  

Is this something you are familiar with ?

You, your friend or your colleague or your client needs to make a decision that could

irrevocably alter their future for eg change their fortunes in future through a career,

move to another city or start an enterprise. The arguments are evenly balanced for and 

against.

How can you help yourself or others out of their Dilemma?

Look at the picture above, ask yourself or others, what is "pulling you" in one direction 

and what is "holding you" in the other direction.

At a first glance it may look like this is a traditional way of asking what are 

"pros and cons" . The difference is that " What is holding me?" and "What is pulling me?"

are positive questions and reflect a situation with two attractive alternatives.

Once you have distinguished the dilemma , "choose" one of the alternatives !!! You will 

experience a sense of "Freedom"

Access to performance - Going beyond Reasons

All human beings like "Performance"

What is "performance", for want of better explanation let's say it is"achieving desired results"

Many of us at times introspect why aren't we performing in some areas of our life.

Here is what i would like you to consider - there will be a lot of reasons we say to ourselves "why we are not performing" in that area.

look at Rahul Dravid in the current test match against england, he could have said

- i am old

- difficult english conditions

- too much cricket

- no partner is sticking in the crease etc..

what he did was "application" and he was in action just seeing the ball and played it.

that in my view is a clear access to "performance" in any area of our life